Mama's Den: Engaging Boys

How has your week been? Did you find your new rhythm or at least start to think about the changes you are making in your daily life to get yourself into the new swing of things? I hope you enjoyed my take on daily rhythm which I shared with you last week. This week I want to talk to you about getting that rhythm into your children’s lives and particularly how I’m engaging my son into our activities.

Some people find it harder to get boys to engage in work than girls but forget the typical stereotypes surrounding boys as they are truly just myths and the best way to engage your boy is to play to his interests. Talk to them, find out what excites them and what they actually want to learn about.

I have worked with lots of boys over my childminding career. I think I have looked after more boys than girls in actual fact. Each child has been completely unique. Their interests have differed and also their own personality attributes. Typically boys are headstrong and independent. They are easily excited and creative however some boys are an exception to this rule and struggle in confidence, and finds it hard to be creative and can often put up a barrier when you try to engage with them. This best describes my own son who masks his true feelings well when in social circles and comes across as a very confident child but is actually just trying to hide his weaknesses. Boys come in all shapes and personality sizes but the main thing we need to think about is how we are guiding them and the expectations we have.

We have been thrown into the role of teacher and home schooling is at the top of lots of our lists but remember what I said in previous weeks, you don’t need to over complicate this, just try and make learning fun and finding the interests your boy has and his strengths and weaknesses. This will do wonders for the engagement he has on tasks you ask him to complete. Challenge expectations, add interest by mixing up the day and make learning as fun as possible. You will never get this time again and I for one want my children to remember this period of time as the fun time they spent the summer term at home.

From being very young we encourage children to play collaboratively. Many of us have done this with role playing games where children practiced scenarios and learnt life skills and this can have a lasting impact on the future learning and engagement of both boys and girls. Children who have been given the opportunity as a youngster to role play will learn how to question more and interact more freely, this is essential for the affective partnership between you and your child and so that boys in particular learn how to ask questions and challenge their own expectations.

We need to look at the ways that boys use media to their own advantage. Typically we favour poetry over a newspaper article from a literacy perspective and may dismiss our children for the media they like to engage with. Think about the times when you have asked your child to get off their tablet or youtube videos when actually this might be their preferred learning media, more so than sitting reading a book. Children all learn in different ways and it is about balancing their attention to increase their attainment. If my son wants to read a book about space and alien worlds I don’t undervalue that and instead ask questions and get him to retell the story back to me. Equally if he has watched a film or played a game I ask him what he has learnt and also download educational games for him aswell.

This may sound silly but the relationship you have with your boy is essential for getting him to engage. We all love our children but I’m with you if you struggle to understand them sometimes. I have to really work on the relationship I have with my son. As well as being a typical moody boy he is also autistic so getting him to focus can be a challenge. Maintaining the positive relationship that we need and that they thrive upon needs to be kept at the forefront of our mind at all times.

My go to with my son is doing everything as practically as possible. He doesn’t like to sit still and do loads of writing so we find ways of learning practically. We do science experiments and write down our results and conclusion. We bake together and measure out the ingredients. We talk about real life scenarios and what people might do in their jobs to help us. I find if I fill our days with questions then engagement is higher and we all feel more rewarded as a result.

I’d love to hear ways that you engage with your boys. Why not connect with me over on my Instagram page @mamasden where I often share ideas of play and home learning which I am doing with my children.

Have a lovely, engaging week.

Jen x